can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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