So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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