At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize