sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize