walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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