If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize