how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize