Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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