i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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