last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i've created a new STD.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize