this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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