Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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