Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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