he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
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he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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