Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize