Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
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