he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
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I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
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Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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