At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize