Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize