You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Everything about him screamed your future.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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