I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
My liver just had a heart attack.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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