Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
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I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
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We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
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