well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
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just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
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So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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