This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
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