i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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