I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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