I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
she woke up with a sticky ear
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize