we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize