I must be too annoying 4 u.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
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There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
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If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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