I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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