idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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