is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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