Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
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I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
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He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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