I swear she didn't look like that last week.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
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I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
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when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We have started to decorate penises.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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