doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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