I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize