Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
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Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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