how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize