why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
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Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
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That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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