im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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