Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
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I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
did i walk over a car last night?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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