His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize