don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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