oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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