don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize