Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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