My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
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She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
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He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm both gender and math confused
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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