I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize