fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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