I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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